Incompleteness in Absence
by Eclipse du Coeur
Summary: Today, I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists. When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence. MikanxNatsume Please Review!


**I just edited some things.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice.

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_Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists. When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence._

Edmond and Jules de Goncourt

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**For NatsumeSeries Contest:**

**Incompleteness in Absence**

by:

_Eclipse du Coeur_

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Strangers. We were merely strangers before our lives linked together. Prior to our meeting, my life was in the shadows, hidden. It's a place where no one would want to dwell. My heart was grey, full of hatred to those people who directed me to do this kind of life. They'll let me kill poor innocent people just to let their evil desires feed their greed. Their greed of money, of power even glory as they say. Glory in which only those who were blind to their façade, honors.

I was an assassin. Yes, an assassin who killed people's lives, wasteful or honored, mercilessly. My hands were tainted with blood of innocent victims who were on our way just to make our mission a success.

You may say, I'm a devil's son, but no. I was only trapped with no choice to run. I'm trapped in the darkness where I can't escape, together with others like me. But one thing is for sure, I'm different from them because I have a desire. I have a desire to break free. To break free from the chains that hold my future that binds me forever in the darkness.

Before, I was an innocent child. Innocent in the sense that I don't even know what my purpose in life is. I was a child playing under the sun and getting my hands dirty. I remember my best friend. My best friend to whom I'd trusted my whole life. She's an idiot, if I may add. Together, we played all games that a child could do. I love her, not as a friend but someone who completes my life, someone who fills the loneliness I suffered when no one was there for me. I'm socially challenged that's why she is the only one I considered a friend. She's a friend to whom I can trust, a true friend precisely. I knew she loved me too but I don't know if it's the same way I felt for her. But it's enough for me. As long as I know that we'll be together through thick and thin, through bad and good times, I'm happy.

But one sinful day, when my dreams suddenly vanished, I was taken away from her. Taken away from my love ones and brought to a new life. The new life where I can't even dream of a peaceful and enjoyable life and I...was suddenly worthless. That one sinful day that I regretted to be born in this world and wanted to end my life.

Suddenly, her smile appeared in my mind. Her bright smile that lights up my day and that smile brought me to reality. "I can survive! I will." I abruptly said. Yes, I can. From then, I seemed to have managed my life. My life tied in the darkness. I managed to live a life there. I erased all my memories. I erased them all. And I changed. I changed from a nice person to a cold and emotionless. Fortunately, no one cared. They only cared to their money, on how to make them richer. But then, I felt that I'm somewhat incomplete. It seemed that there is a big hole in me. A hole that seems nowhere and nothing can fill in. Every day, loneliness filled me. I felt that something is missing. My life was incomplete then.

Then the day came when I was instructed to assassinate a certain person. She is a hindrance to the company. She is a spy. I met her that day.

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_I suddenly locked my gaze on her. Then a nostalgic feeling came upon me. It seems that she's familiar to me. I don't know why and how. But that sudden moment, I felt hope. _

_But it vanished right away when I remembered that she's my mission. My mission in which to kill her right away._

"_Hello! Do you need anything from me? You seemed occupied" she said with a very familiar smile._

"_Huh? Oh Nothing!" then I walked away. I hesitated. For the first time in my life, I hesitated on killing._

"_Hey wait! Can I ask you something? I'm new here and I don't know which way to go. Can you help me?" she asked running to him._

'_You won't say that if you knew who I am' he thought still walking away._

"_Hey! Wait up! Please!" she said then blocked his way._

"_What do you want?" he exclaimed._

"_Can you just help me? Please?" she begged._

"_Alright! What is it?" he said annoyed._

"_I know it's too much but can you help me around?" she said._

'_It's too much!' he yelled in his mind. "Where do you want to go?"_

"_Yay! I want there!" she pointed. Then he followed where her finger directed. And his eyes widened. "Are you crazy? I thought you don't know your way here?" he said shocked on how stupid she is._

"_Please? And don't ask why!" she said pulling him._

_And we rode every ride there not minding the people around. We just had fun. I had fun since the last time I'm with my best friend. And I felt that feeling again. The feeling that this somewhat happened a long time ago, that this is a part of the memories I erased. But I just shrugged the thought off. I felt joy with her taking away my mind on that mission. I somehow felt happiness and the missing piece in me is filled._

_I realized that the hope I felt was her. She's the one I've been looking for. Then, the rain poured very hard. I dropped myself on the solid ground, feeling the mud in my hands. The mud I played a long time ago. Then I looked above and met those bright auburn eyes. And it hit me. It's her! My best friend! I'm overjoyed. The memories of her with me flashed back in my mind. It seemed that it is never erased nor deleted in my memories. Because even though I forgot about her, she's still in my heart. Her memories were buried deep inside my heart. And I just dug it._

_And it fell upon me. I need to kill her. I need to kill my best friend. My world stopped turning. My heart stopped beating. 'Why in the world these need to happen?' I yelled in my mind not breaking my eye contact to her._

"_You finally realized who I am, Neh- Natsume!" she proclaimed. And I was shocked. 'She knew it!'_

"_And you need to kill me." She said it like it was the simplest thing in the world. My heart bulged out. 'She knew all along and she still wanted to be with me!' I exclaimed in my mind. My world fell upon me._

"_You already knew it since the start! And you still wanted to be with your killer! How idiot can you go!" I yelled to her not minding the heavy rain pouring down._

_She smiled at me. She ignored me. She went to me and hugged me tightly afraid to let go of me. "I know you won't kill me. You will never be the one to stop my breathing."_

"_I miss you, Natsume! And I don't care!. I just want to stay like this. Please don't let go of me for now. Even for just a minute. I miss you so much!" she whispered begging to me._

_I hugged her tightly. "I miss you, too." I whispered into her ear. Then I cried. The tears I've hated to let go for many years. Now, I'm letting my tears slid down my cheeks, just for her._

"_I love you, Mikan Sakura." I confessed to her. "And I love you too, Natsume Hyuuga." She said and I smiled. I smiled one of my rarest smiles. As I let go of the hug and cupped her face, I saw her crying and my heart cried, too. I hate to see her crying._

"_Natsume! Look out!" she yelled before pushing me to the ground._

_**BANG!**_

_From that sound, my heart leaped. Then blood sprinkled on my face. The blood that came from Mikan. The blood from the girl I loved. I saw her fall unto me. I hugged her body, covered with blood._

_"Nat—su—me.. I'm glad you're alright.." she said._

_"Don't care about me! Look at yourself! why did you pushed me? I'd rather manage if it's me than you!" I shouted at her._

_"Because I don't know If i can live without you." she said with hard breathing._

_"And who told you that i can live without you? You are selfish!" I said hugging her._

_"Natsume..."_

"_Don't leave me, Mikan! I've been leaving hell since I left you and now you're leaving me! What's worse can I go through?" I yelled to her._

_"Don't cry Natsume.. I don't want to see you crying to my death. I want you to change. Free yourself, Natsume. Live once again. That's only my wish." She whispered to me._

_"No, Mikan! You'll live! Alright, I'll free myself just don't die! Please don't leave me!" I begged to her._

_"I love you, Natsume. Don't ever forget that." She said and kissed me. I kissed her from the bottom of my heart. I saw her hand dropped. I was blanked._

_I heard footsteps and I know I need to run. To escape. But how can I leave her here? The footsteps are getting louder and louder. I kissed and hugged her for the last time and I ran._

I need to run away. Run away from the chains that bind me. I flee from them. Then one ordinary day after I fled, I heard the news that they were discovered and all their slaves like me was freed. I was jumping for joy! Now I'm free. I'm totally free!

From that day on, whenever I remember Mikan Sakura, the day she saved me, the day she freed me, and the day she sacrificed her life for me, I just want to follow her. But then I remembered her last wish, for me to be freed and live my life once again. I wanted to cry. I want to see her again. I wanted to see her bright smile. Even just to see her grave. I didn't even know where she was buried. I don't know anything after that day.

The girl that saved me and the only one I love is in my heart, and will always be. I'll never forget her ever, because I know no matter what, her mark on me will never be gone. I know she loves me and I'll always, too. And If I'll ever find someone like her that will fill my heart, there's no need because Mikan Sakura will always fill my lonely heart.

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Signed,

Natsume Hyuuga

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I gazed my eyes on the window of the bus. The view will surely be loved by her. It's so beautiful just like her. Her pretty smile suddenly flashed and took my heart away. I wonder what will happen to me now. I'm currently helping those lost people because I know she will surely smile for that. I looked again at the book I've read. I finished writing my life's story, 5 years after she left me. Then the bus stopped. I walked down the aisles of the bus and down to the road. I was thinking of something when I bumped into someone that made my heart stopped. I locked my gaze to her just like the other time. And I suddenly smiled. I smiled to her and she smiled back. Finally, my heart's hole will be filled once more. There she is, alive and wearing her famous bright smile, Mikan Sakura.

"Hello! Do you need anything from me? You seemed occupied..." She said smiling. "Nat-su-me!"

And I know I'm just beginning to write my life's story …

It's just the beginning of my life together with her. Together with Mikan Sakura.

**The girl that completes my life.**

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_**"We meet different people every day. We met them because there is an important role they play in our lives. On how simple, complicated or vital it is, it already depends on us. Because we are the one that live our lives and fill every role we played."**_

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_**...Now all you need is to hit the button below and review. It will take no hassle at all and you can help me, too. If you like it or love it, please encourage me to write more. Thanks guys! I'm beginning to lose confidence, so better yet, review it for me!**_

Hi! I'm done with my story! Yay! Honestly, I don't know if it's okay but Thanks God! Thank you to all my inspirations! I love you all! Review it for me guys! Say if it's boring. Love yah Guys!

_**===For those who participated, God Bless! Hope the best win. But whoever wins, let's support him/her because he/she will definitely deserve it! Thanks again! Love you all! Please pm me because i want friends here in FFN.**_

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**Author's note:**

**Guys! Do you want a sequel? It's because there's something in my mind for this. Just tell me and I'll write it especially dedicated to you. I told you….**

**It's the beginning of his life's story. Together with her…**

**0o0o0 Éclipse du Coeur 0o0o0**


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